diff -Nru fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/README fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/README
--- fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/README	Thu Jan  1 00:00:00 1970
+++ fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/README	Wed Jan 16 01:10:06 2002
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+Install these two files to wherever you keep your fortunes.
+
+On some systems that may be /usr/share/games/fortune
diff -Nru fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/README fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/README
--- fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/README	Wed Jan 16 01:10:06 2002
+++ fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/README	Thu Jan  1 00:00:00 1970
@@ -1,3 +0,0 @@
-Install these two files to wherever you keep your fortunes.
-
-On some systems that may be /usr/share/games/fortune
diff -Nru fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/futurama fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/futurama
--- fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/futurama	Fri Feb  7 15:02:26 2003
+++ fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/futurama	Thu Jan  1 00:00:00 1970
@@ -1,1154 +0,0 @@
- Leela: Hey, you know what might be a hoot?
- Professor: No. Why would I know that? 
-%
- Fry: I want to see the edge of the universe.
- Amy: Ooh, that sounds cool. 
- Zoidberg: It's funny. You live in the universe by you 
-  never do these things 'til someone comes to visit.
-%
- Fry: So, there's an infinite number of parallel universes?
- Professor: No, just the two.
- Fry: Oh, well, I'm sure that's enough.
-%
- Handcrafters: New hands in about an hour
- Fry: These new hands are great. I'm gonna break them in tonight.
-%
- Fry: I've only got two fantasies left: to be invisible in a 
-chocolate factory, and to be romantically linked to a  celebrity.
- Bender: I could pound your head 'til you think that's what happened.
- Fry: Okay.
-%
- nappster.com: Download any celebrity from A.A. Milne to Z.Z. Top
-%
- If food is not reasonably clean, return uneaten portion for partial refund
-%
- Brooklyn Aquarium, special exhibit: boids of da wattah
-%
- Professor: Oh, dear. She's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot. 
-   Well, that's love for you.
-%
- Bender: Stay away from our women. You got metal fever, baby, metal fever! 
-%
- Professor: I knew I should have shown him "Electro-Gonnorhea, the Noisy Killer."
-%
- Lucy Liu: That was incredible, Bender. You're like Jackie Chan 
-   before he got all doughy.
-%
- Zapp: Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes. 
-%
- Leela: And nappster says illegal copies never hurt anybody. 
-%
- Fry: Lucy Liu-bot, if I don't survive the corn, I want you to know that I 
- love you as much as a man can love a computerized image of a gorgeous 
- celebrity, which it turns out is a lot.
-%
- Leela: Your face can take a lot of punishment. That's good to know. 
- Fry: There's a lot about my face you don't know.
-%
- Professor: While you were gone the Trotters held a news conference 
-   to announce that I was a jive sucker.
-%
- Marv Albert: He's really showing us what a man with a cannon 
-   in his chest can do.
-%
- Leela: I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again you screwed 
- up. Now all the planets are gonna start crackin' wise about our mommas. 
- Hermes: I'm just glad my fat ugly momma isn't alive to see this day.
-%
- Bubblegum: Good lord, that sucker's shakin' around like 
-   some fine imported booty.
-%
- Leela: Zoidberg!
- Zoidberg: Sorry, you must have been boring. 
-%
- Leela: I love his boyish charm, but I hate his childishness.
-%
- Fry: Drugs are for losers, and hypnosis is for losers with big weird eyebrows.
-%
- Fry: How did I get Leela to love me? I've got to figure it out. 
- Hermes: Maybe you're just a fantastic lover, Fry. 
- Amy: No.
-%
- Professor: Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's 
- court. I suppose I could part with one and still be feared. 
-%
- Bubblegum: Bender, you can talk trash, you can handle the ball, 
- but look in your heart and ask yourself: are you funky
- enough to be a Globe Trotter? Are you?
- Bender: Yes.
- Bubblegum: Are you? 
- Bender: I mean, with time, my funk level could... 
- Bubblegum: Are you?!
- Bender: No. 
- Bubblegum: Deal with it.
-%
-Futurama is brought to you by Thompson's Teeth, the 
-only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth.
-%
- Zoidberg: So many memories, so many strange fluids gushing out 
-   of patients' bodies....
-%
- Fry: Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age.
- Bender: I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off.
-%
- Roberto: Geez, I've seen lines move faster in a sperm bank. 
-%
- Famous Original Ray's Superior Court
-%
- Fry: I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be 
-   chopped up into a patty. 
- Judge Whitey: Ah, the sixty-seventh ammendment. 
-%
- Fry: Ow, my head! Ow, my feet! Ow, my head! Ow, my feet!
- Professor: Keep your chin up. 
- Fry: Ow, my chin! 
-%
- HAL Institute for Criminally Insane Robots
-%
- Fry: You gotta help me, Bender. How can I prove I'm human?
- Bender: You could drop dead. That'd show 'em. 
- Fry: I don't wanna. 
-%
- Fry: I'm not a robot like you. I don't like having disks crammed 
- into me... unless they're Oreos, and then only in the mouth.
-%
- Amy: Bender, you should be more ashamed of yourself than usual. 
-%
- Fry: I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me? 
- Leela: Oh, lots of reasons. 
-%
- Leela: Okay, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his 
-   humanity the way only a woman can. 
- Professor: You're going to do his laundry?
-%
- Amy: Aw, he looks like a little insane drunken angel. 
-%
- Professor: Ouch! That's going to bleed when my heart beats.
-%
- Fry: Mmm, the gristle in a blanket isn't half bad.
- Bender: And try one of these popsicle sticks. They've 
-   absorbed quite a bit of flavor. 
-%
- Leela: I guess you never really outgrow being an eyeball... oddball.
-%
- Adelai: A package is just a box until it's delivered. 
-%
- Fry: Hey, why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass?
-%
- One of Bender's kids: Our dad is a giant toy! 
-%
- One of Bender's kids: Can we have Bender burgers again? 
- Bender: No, the cat shelter's onto me.
-%
- Leela: Oh, Adelai, I've had a wonderful time today. No one's stared 
- at me, or avoided staring at me, or tried to burn me. You make me 
- feel so not weird.
-%
- Fry: What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us 
-   aren't normal. And that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg. He's 
-   a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.
- Zoidberg: Damn right. 
- Fry: And the professor's a senile amoral crackpot.
- Professor: Oyeeaii. (waves) 
- Fry: Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.
- Hermes: Tally me banana.
- Fry: Amy is a klutz from Mars.
- Amy: Whoops. (drops her glass)
- Professor: And Fry, you've got that brain thing.
- Fry: I already did! 
-%
- Bender: I need a calculator.
- Fry: You are a calculator.
- Bender: I need a good calculator. 
-%
- Cop: You're under arrest for child cruelty, child endangerment, depriving 
- children of food, selling children as food, and misrepresenting 
- the weight of livestock.
-%
- Fry: Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything. 
-%
- Hermes: Baby needs a new pair of shoes! 
- Zoidberg: To hell with your spoiled baby, I need those shoes. 
-%
- Professor: No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it.
-%
-Fry: Augh, I am so unlucky. I've run over black cats that were luckier than me.
-%
- Fry: That's it! You can only take my money for so long before you 
-   take it all and I say enough! 
-%
- Leela: Well, someone's in a good mode.
-%
- Professor: Dirt doesn't need luck.
-%
- Bender: Old New York, the city that inspired a casino in Las Vegas. 
-%
- Loosely confederate colors of Benetton
-%
- Bender: This is the Brooklyn-bound B train making local stops at wherever 
- the hell I feel like, watch for the closing doors.
-%
- Fry: Ah, the Breakfast Club soundtrack. Man, I can't wait until I'm old 
-   enough to feel ways about stuff.
-%
- Fry: That clover helped my rat-fink brother steal my dream of going into 
-   space. Now I'll never get there. 
- Leela: You went there this morning for donuts.
-%
- Fry: Leela, Bender, we're going grave-robbing.
- Bender: I'll get my kit!
-%
- Bender: Grab a shovel. I'm only one skull short of a Mousketeer reunion.
-%
- Leela: That aerosal head spray makes your antenna smell nice... 
- Bender: Thank you.
- Leela: ...but it's doing long-term damage to the planet.
- Bender: So? It's not like it's the only one we've got.
-%
- Professor: The tanker has six-thousand hulls, so, unlike me, 
-   it's entirely leak-proof.
-%
- Professor: Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good 
- captain can't have either one. That's why cold, logical Bender 
- is perfect for the job.
- Bender: Well, I do think of human life as expendable. 
-%
- Paul: If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey, 
- I don't wanna be right.
-%
- Give a hoot-o 
- Don't pollute Pluto 
-%
- Leela: Bender's flying too low! And he's upside-down! 
- Protestor: He must be talking on a cell-phone.
-%
- Paul: Good way to avoid frostbite, folks, put your hands between 
- your buttocks. That's nature's pocket. 
-%
- Fry: Where's Captain Bender? Off catastrophizing some other planet? 
-%
- Paul: It seems dark-matter is nature's sex drug. It's like a perverted 
- trail mix of penguin estrogen, penguine Viagra and Spanish penguin fly.
-%
- Leela: Is there some way to keep them from breeding?
- Paul: Cold showers don't work on Antarctic creatures. 
-%
- Leela: I'm sorry, but if it's fun in any way it's not environmentalism. 
- Paul: Oh, really? How about blowing up dams?
-%
- Bender: I don't know why, but when I look down at their little faces 
- it makes me want to puke... in a good way. 
-%
- Bender: If it ain't black and white, peck, scratch and bite.
-%
- Bender: Life is hilariously cruel.
-%
- Professor: I've been a Harold Zoid fan since back when my 
-   hips were made of bone. 
-%
- Zoidberg: This letter has to be very personal, so I'm 
- 	writing it in my own ink.
-%
- Final Curtain 
- Old Actors' Home
-%
- Star Tours
- Note: bus does not leave earth
-%
- Calculon: I'm programmed to be very busy. 
-%
- Zoidberg: That's where I'm meeting Uncle Zoid for lunch to 
- discuss my Hollywood dream. The next time you see me, don't
- be surprised if I've eaten. 
-%
- Zoidberg: Uncle Zoid, you're looking young enough to be thrown back!
-%
- Calculon: An Oscar, you say? That would get me out of this festering 
-   rats' nest called television once and for all. 
-%
- Calculon: I just pray they like me half as much as I do.
-%
- La Brea Tar Pits
- As seen on the tar channel
-%
- Calculon: I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this. 
-%
- Oscar Party 
- No losers admitted
-%
- Champion Pet Show Today 
- Kids: See Toucan Sam's death mask 
-%
- Awards ceremony in progress 
- No pooping
-%
- Leela: Ah, maybe they're right, maybe Nibbler is dumb.
- Fry: Don't listen to them, Leela. People said I was dumb but I proved them!
-%
- Fry: What are we going to do? 
- Professor: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery. 
- Amy: No, let's buy internet stock.
- Zoidberg: On margin! Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.
- Hermes: Look at me! I'm invisible.
- Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.
- Bender: Hey, let's go join the Reform party!
- Everyone: Yeah! 
-%
- Niblonian: They travel from world to world making everyone stupid in 
-   order to wipe out all thought in the universe. 
- Leela: Wipe out all thought? My God, they're like flying televisions. 
-%
- Niblonian 1: You must tell him to disable it. We will do the rest.
- Leela: You can count on me! 
- Niblonian 1: No we can't. Once on Earth, you will be too stupid 
-   to remember the message.
- Niblonian 2: That's why we wrote it down. 
- Niblonian 3: We've also prepared a bag lunch and some mittens.
-%
-Professor: Those delightful birds with their chirp chirp chirp 
-    and their tweet tweet splat. 
-%
- Professor: Some say I'm robbing the cradle but I say she's robbing the grave.
-%
- Tonight's special, blackened leftovers
-%
- Tonight's special, blackened blackened leftovers
-%
- Bender: I finally meet a nice girl with a pair of legs 
-   that don't quite unexpectedly...
-%
- Robot Nite - Designated device drivers drink free 
-%
- Got protoplasm? 
-%
- Bender: I ain't your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. 
-   You even love anybody pretending to be him!
- Angleyne: Well, maybe I love you so much I love you no matter 
-   who you're pretending to be.
- Bender: Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that.
-%
- Professor: Perhaps it's your outlook that need a good bend, a ninety 
- degree bend to a place where happiness is perpendicular to wonderment.
-%
-Zapp: There's only one surefire way back into a woman's heart and 
-  parts beyond. I speak, of course, of Karaoke. 
-%
- Zapp: She's built like a steak house but she handles like a bistro. 
-%
- Zapp: You win again, gravity! 
-%
- Zoidberg: Muy macho. Hey, gringos, here comes El Zoido to ruin 
-   your drinking water! 
-%
- Bender: Oh... your... God.
-%
- Leela: Bender, maybe you can interface with the Femputer and 
-   reprogram it to let them go. 
- Bender: Maybe you can interface with my ass... by biting it.
-%
- Zapp: The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongey and bruised.
-%
-Regular Matter, Dark Matter, Wassa Matter 
-%
- Fry: It's like a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up.
-%
- Janitor: Oh, marmalade! 
-%
- Bender: He's a witch! 
-%
- Amy: Worms? Ew, pukatronic! 
-%
- Professor: Anywho, your net suits will let you experience Fry's 
- worm-infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them. 
- Zoidberg: There's no part of that sentence I didn't like.
-%
- Professor: This is gonna be one hell of a bowel movement. Afterwards, 
-he'll be lucky if he has any bones left.
-%
- Fry: Have you ever been in love?
- Worm Mayor: No, I thought I was once, but then I remembered our 
- species reproduces with a cloud of spores.
-%
- Worm Mayor: One day you'll be eating a fast-food burger and BOOM, 
- you'll be crawling with us again. Ever wonder what makes 
- special sauce so special? Yo.
-%
- Bender: Pardon me, brother. Care to donate to the anti-mugging you fund?
- Leela: We don't need to beg, Bender. For God's sake, we're not veterans.
-%
- Applied Cryogenics: It seems to work OK.
-%
- Bender: That probulator sure knows how to please a man. 
-%
- Fry: Nowadays people aren't interested in art that's not tattooed on fat guys.
-%
- Hermes: Dating your ex, Fry? Have you lost all self-respect?
- Fry: All what?
-%
- Fry: Things are different this time. Before she was demanding and 
- possessive, but now she wants me to do stuff and stay with her all the time.
-%
- Michelle: I can't find a vanishing cream that doesn't make me actually vanish.
-%
- Fry: Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. 
-%
- Michelle: You expect me to live in a tiny little hole?
- Fry: It'd be deeper, but I'm standing on a gopher.
-%
- Michelle: You should be chief.
- Fry: What do I need, ulcers?
-%
- Michelle: When we get back to the hole we are going to have a long 
-   boring talk about our relationship.
-%
- Loew's Qaddafi's Mann's Grauman's Chinese Theater
-%
- Fry: Ooh, Big Pink. It's the only gum with the breath freshening power of ham.
- Bender: And it pinkens your teeth while you chew. 
-%
- Earth Army Recruiting Center: What are you, chicken? Buk buk buk! 
-%
- Professor: Now, be careful, Fry. And if you kill anyone, make sure to eat 
- their heart to gain their courage. Their rich tasty courage.
-%
- Earth men are real men! 
-%
- Fry: Whoah. Check out that guy. He makes Speedy Gonzales look like 
- Regular Gonzalez.
-%
- Officers' club: We don't know but we've been told, our beer on tap is 
- mighty cold.
-%
- Brannigan: You'll be negotiating with the aliens' mysterious leaders, the 
- Brain Balls. They've got a lot of brains, and they've got a lot of chutzpah.
-%
- Henry Kissinger: Young man, you have the bravery of a hero and breath 
- as fresh as a summer ham. 
-%
- War over! Balls thoroughly licked.
-%
-Leela: You buy one pound of underwear and you're on their list forever.
-%
-   Professor: Superstitious robot mumbo jumbo.   
-   Old robot: Mumbo, perhaps, jumbo, perhaps not.
-%
-   Old robot: I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe.
-%
-   Robot priest: And so we commend Vladimir's remains to the earth: 
-   filings to filings, rust to rust.
-%
-   Bender: I get a good vibe from this place. Nice long dinner table, 
-   quiet well-behaved spiders, graveyards adjacent.... 
-%
-   Bender: Oh, Lord, I'm on the verge of a nervous melt-down.
-%
-   Bender: I can't keep running people over. I'm not famous enough 
-   to get away with it.  
-%
-   Gypsy robot: You want to die? 
-   Bender: No, I wanna live! There's still too many things I don't own.  
-%
-   Leela: Well, goodnight. I'm gonna go make my dinners for the next month 
-   and freeze them.  
-%
-   Fry: Words. Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter orange
-   wax in my ears.   
-%
-   Old robot: What are ye doing? 
-   Bender: We're whaling on the original were-car, which is you, you jerk.   
-   Old robot: Ye think me be he? 
-   Bender: Si.   
-   Old robot: Nee. I mean, no.   
-%
-   Calculon: I was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, 
-   Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!
-%
-   Leela: You guys distract the were-car, and I'll kill it by plugging its 
-   exhaust pipe with this silver potato. 
-%
-   Leela: Oh no, there's no exhaust pipe.
-   Project Satan: That's right. Thanks to Ed Begley Jr.'s electric motor, the 
-   most evil propulsion system ever conceived!
-%
-   Were-Bender: Oh boy, I feel like a car in a candy store.  
-%
-   Bender: Hey, that's my last beer, you bastard. I'll kill you! 
-   Fry: I'll kill you too, buddy, I'll kill you too.
-%
-"C'mon guys. Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999...again." -Fry 
- "I'm gonna drink 'till I reboot." -Bender 
-%
- "Who was that guy?" -Fry 
- "Your momma! Now shut up and drag me to work." -Bender 
-%
- "Bender, we didn't mind your drinking or your cleptomania or your
-pornography ring." -Leela 
- "In fact, that's why we love you." -Zoidberg 
-%
- "If only he had joined a mainstream religion, like Oprahism or Voodoo."
--Professor 
-%
- "Who would have though hell would really exist? And that it would be in New
-Jersey?" -Leela 
-"Actually..." - Fry
-%
-"Good news, everyone. Tomorrow you'll be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the
-virus planet." -Professor 
- "Why can't they go today?" 
- "Because tonight's a special night, and I want all of you to be alive."
--Professor 
-%
- "Eureka!" -Professor 
- "Did you build the Smell-o-scope?" -Fry 
- "No. I remembered that I built one last year." -Professor 
-%
- "This is a great, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus. Heh heh."
--Fry 
- "I don't get it." -Leela 
- "I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid
-joke once and for all." -Professor 
- "Oh. What's it called now?" -Fry 
- "Urectum." -Professor 
-%
- "I gotta be sure this isn't another scientific fraud like global warming
-or second-hand smoke." -Mayor 
-%
- "But suppose we sent a crew to plant an explosive precisely on the fault
-line between this mass of coffee grounds and this 
- deposit of America Online floppy disks." -Professor 
- "In theory, it could work." -General 
- "In theory, perhaps, but you'll never find a crew willing to take on a
-mission so suicidally dangerous." -Wernstrom 
- "Aw, jeez." -Bender 
-%
- "Ahhh! We're gonna die! Right?" -Fry 
- "Right." -Bender 
- "Ahhh!" -Fry 
-%
- "And so, on behalf of the entire city, I thank you Professor Farnsworth. I
-now present you with the Academy Prize, which we 
- confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom after it became apparent that he was a
-jackass." -Mayor 
-%
- "And Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt as well. Were it not for your
-twentieth century garbage-making skills, we'd all be 
- buried under twentieth century garbage." -Mayor
-%
-"Good news, everyone." -Professor 
- "Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that." -Bender 
- "You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisaw." -Professor 
- "Here it comes." -Bender 
- "A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the forbidden zone."
--Professor 
- "Thank you, and goodnight." -Bender 
-%
- "What am I gonna do?" -Fry 
- "We've got to get the emperor out of your body before they kill you." -Amy 
- "Relax, Fry, I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge separating
-out the denser fluid of his highness." 
- "Won't that crush my bones?" -Fry 
- "Oh, right, right, with the bones. I always forget about the bones."
-%
-"Lightspeed briefs: style and comfort for the discriminating crotch."
--announcer 
-%
- "Didn't you have ads in the twentieth century?" -Leela 
- "Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio...and in
-magazines...and movies, and at ballgames, and on buses, and 
- milk cartons, and T-shirts, and bananas, and written in the sky. But not in
-dreams, no sirree." -Fry 
-%
- "I don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for
-his skeleton?" -Leela 
-%
- "Maybe you can't understand this, but I finally found what I need to be
-happy, and it's not friends, it's things." -Fry
-%
- "Face it, Fry, baseball was as boring as mom and apple pie. That's why they
-jazzed it up." -Leela 
- "Boring? Baseball wasn't...hmmm, so they finally jazzed it up." -Fry 
-%
- "Hey, I'm startin' to get the hang of this game. The blerns are loaded. The
-count's three blerns and two anti-blerns, and the 
- infield blern rule is in effect. Right?" -Fry 
- "Other than the word blern, that was complete gibberish." -Leela 
-%
- "I love this planet. I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of
-sleaze that those things bring." -Bender
-%
-"This is Vergon 6." -Professor 
- "Bah." -Amy 
- It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little
-doomed animals." -Professor 
-%
- "I betcha Leela's holding out for a nice guy with one eye." -Fry 
- "That'll take forever. What she oughta do is find a nice guy with two eyes
-and poke one out." -Bender 
- "Yeah, that'd be a timesaver." -Fry 
-%
- "I don't care how many eyes a man has... as long as it's less than five."
--Leela 
-%
- "I heard one time you single-handedly defeated a hoard of rampaging of
-somethings in the something something system." -Fry 
-%
- "I might have liked Zap Brannigan if he weren't a pompous dimwit who threw
-me in prison." -Leela "You really are too picky." 
- -Bender 
-%
- "Y'know, Zap, once I thought you were a big pompous buffoon. Then I
-realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But 
- now I realize that outside that child is just a big pompous buffoon."
--Leela 
-%
-"Bachelor Chow. Now with flavor." -announcer 
-%
- "Why don't you just come move in with me?" -Bender 
- "Really? That would be great! You sure I won't be imposing?" -Fry 
- "Nah. I've always wanted a pet." -Bender 
-%
- "Listen, Bender, where's your bathroom?" -Fry 
- "Bath what?" -Bender 
- "Bathroom." -Fry 
- "What room?" -Bender 
- "Bathroom!" -Fry 
- "What what?" Bender 
- "Ah, nevermind." -Fry 
-%
- "Hey, sexy mama. Wanna kill all the humans?" -Bender 
-%
- "Well, I give up. What's the catch?" -Fry 
- "Oh, no catch. Although we are, technically, in New Jersey." -Real estate
-agent 
-%
- "Look at that five o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking,
-haven't you?" -Leela
-%
-"Planet Express: our crew is replaceable, your package isn't." -Advertisement 
-%
- "I'm never gonna get used to the thirty-first century. Caffeinated bacon?
-Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?" -Fry 
- "Well if you don't like that, try some Archduke Chocula." -Leela 
-%
- "I'm gonna be a famous hero just like Neil Armstrong and those other brave
-guys no one ever heard of." -Fry 
-%
- "Hurry up! I wanna see the moon." -Fry 
- "Relax. It's open 'till nine." -Leela 
-%
- "That's one small step for Fry..." -Fry 
- "...and one giant line for admission." -stranger in line 
-%
- "C'mon, it's just like making love. Y'know, left, down, rotate sixty-two
-degrees, engage rotors...." -Bender 
-%
- "I'm gonna go build my own theme park... with blackjack and hookers! In
-fact, forget the park!" -Bender 
-%
- "Trespassers, eh?" -farmer 
- "No, sir. We're amusement park patrons." -Fry 
- "Oooh, that's a wicked sinful place. Tilt-a-whirl's okay, but the rest is
-mighty wicked." -farmer 
-%
- "I never told anybody this, but a thousand years ago I used to look up at
-the moon and dream about being an astronaut. I just 
- didn't have the grades, or the physical endurance, plus I threw up a lot,
-and nobody liked spending a week with me." -Fry
-%
-"Please select mode of death: quick and painless or slow and horrible."
- "Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call." -Fry 
- "You have selected slow and horrible." -Automated voice 
- "Great choice." -Bender 
-%
- "Why would a robot need to drink?" -Fry 
- "I don't need to drink, I can quit anytime I want." -Bender 
-%
- "Good lord. What is this?" -Fry 
- "It's the decaying ruins of old New York. Welcome home, pal!" -Bender 
-%
-"It was nice of you to let me reattach your arm."
- --Zoidber
-%
-"Finally, I have a good claw! See? Three human females, a number, and
-a king giving himself brain surgery!"
- --Zoidberg, on the ideal poker hand
-%
-"All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo!"
- --Morbo
-%
-"So.. humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this
-information very useful indeed. Mwahwahahahaha!"
- --Morbo
-%
-"Please don't hit me! I'm brittle!"
- --Zoidberg
-%
-"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!"
-"You can't *own* property, man!"
-"I can! That's because I'm not a penniless hippie!" 
- --Farnsworth & hippie
-%
-"The point is, you shouldn't eat things that feel pain." *BONK!* "Ow!"
-"Okay, we won't eat you!"
- --hippie & Bender
-%
-"You're vegetarians! Who cares what you do?"
- --Leela
-%
-Dr. Zoidberg: "Help! A guinea pig tricked me."
-%
-Dr. Zoidberg: "Talk to the claw."
-Bender: "Bite my collosal metal ass."
-%
-Bender: "I came here with a simple dream, a dream of killing all humans."
-%
-Dr. Zoidberg: "Okay, so you're nonchalant, stop rubbing our noses in it.
-%
-Bender: "Blackmail's such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it
-sound cool."
-%
-Al Gore to Fry: "You fool! You foolish fool!"
-%
-Hermes to Bender: "What did you get her, you mushy gizmo?" 
-%
-Professor: "Good news. There's a report on TV with some very bad news." 
-%
-Zoidberg: "Hooray, I'm useful. I'm having a wonderful time." 
-%
-Mom's son: "Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman
-scorned." 
-%
-Professor: "The thought of caressing that leathery hide makes the tapioca
-rise in my gullet" 
-Fry: "Professor, please, the fate of the world depends on you getting to
-second base with Mom." 
-Professor: "Very well, if cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall." 
-%
-Fan: "Aha ha, fan beats man." 
-%
-Amy: "Way to go, Professor, the plan worked." 
-Mom: "Plan? What plan? I thought this was a spontaneous whirlwind of hot dry
-sex."
-%
-Leela: "Great. We're two days from earth with no food." 
-Bender: "Problem solved. You two fight to the death and I'll cook the
-loser." 
-%
-Leela: "Well, it's a type M planet, so it should at least have
-Roddenberries." 
-%
-Fry: "They're great! They're like sex except I'm having them." 
-%
-Pop a Poppler in your mouth 
-When you come to Fishy Joe's 
-What they're made of is a mystery 
-Where they come from no one knows 
-You can pick 'em you can lick 'em you can chew 'em you can stick 'em 
-If you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose. 
-%
-Zapp: "Why'd you open your bong-hole, you smelly hippie? You'd sacrifice a
-beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive 
-monkey? You must have smoked some bad granola." 
-%
-Professor: "A toast to Leela. She showed us it's wrong to eat certain
-things."
-%
-Bender: "Oh my God, I'm so excited I wish I could wet my pants." 
-%
-Professor Farnsworth: "Oh my, that steamed carrot was a bit spicy for me." 
-%
-Cop: "He's making a break for it. Get him!" 
-Fry: "No, no, I was just picking my nose." 
-Cop: "He's picking his nose. Get him!" 
-%
-Bender: "One of you will have to fill in for me while I'm gone." 
-Professor Farnsworth: "Better yet, I'll build someone to fill in for you.
-Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monsters with 
-freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal..." 
-%
-The boss: "Get a load of ball bearings on this guy." 
-%
-Bender: "You know the secret of traditional robot cooking? Start with a good
-high-quality oil, then eat it." 
-%
-Leela: "Where were you at 10pm last night?" 
-Professor Farnsworth: "Where am I now?" 
-%
-Bender: "Tell the Donbot I'm quitting organized crime. From now on I'll stick
-to the regular kind."
-%
-Bender: "Hey, guess what you're accessories to?" 
-%
-Bender: "Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending." 
-%
-Dr. Zoidberg: "Look at me! I'm Dr. Zoidberg, home-owner!" 
-%
-Bender: "Argh. The laws of science be a harsh mistress." 
-%
-Professor Farnsworth: "He may have ocean madness, but that's no excuse for
-ocean rudeness." 
-%
-Fry: "You know what I like best about you, Umbrielle? You find me
-fascinating, even when I'm not claiming to be a jewel thief 
-or a lion tamer." 
-%
-Hermes: "The poor demented honky." 
-%
-Bender: "In the event of an emergency, my ass can be used as a floatation
-device." 
-%
-Fry: "Hey, you guys, the most amazing thing happened, it's two-for-one
-Tuesday at Krispy Kreme! Plus there's mermaids." 
-%
-Hermes: "I miss my wife and my oxygen." 
-Professor Farnsworth: "Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gases." 
-%
-Amy: "What about Umbrielle?" 
-Fry: "Well, it turned out I loved her, but I wasn't in love with her." 
-Amy: "Trouble in bed." 
-%
-Hermes: "Hail, Atlanta."
-%
-Professor: "Good news, everyone, the university is bringing me up on
-disclipinary charges. Wait, that's not good news at all." 
-%
-Dr. Zoidberg: "Now I'm not saying Professor Farnsworth is old, but if you
-consider his age he's likely to die soon." 
-%
-Dr. Zoidberg: "A successor to the professor?" 
-%
-Hermes: "Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams
-things." 
-%
-Bender: "Is he dumb or just ugly?" 
-%
-Professor: "If a dog craps anywhere in the universe, you can bet I won't be
-out of loop." 
-%
-Professor: "Oh, vanity, thy name is Professor Farnsworth." 
-%
-Cubert: "Robots are very good at keeping secrets." 
-Bender: "No, we're not, you little bed-wetter. Oops, I'm sorry." 
-%
-Leela: "There it is, the near-death star." 
-%
-Cubert: "Why do I have to be the hump?" 
-Fry: "'Cause you're too ugly to be a wart." 
-%
-Leela: "We've blown out one of our engines." 
-Fry: "Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it... fix it, fix it, fix
-it!"
-%
-Professor: "Good news, everyone. Several years ago I tried to log onto AOL, and
-it just went through. Whee! We're online." 
-%
-Fry: "Well, thanks to the internet I'm now bored with sex. Is ther a place
-on the web that panders to my lust for violence?" 
-Bender: "Is the space-pope reptilian?" 
-%
-Computer: "Leela, you've got mail. It's not spam!" 
-%
-Leela: "Are you real, or am I seeing single?" 
-Alcazar: "Ow. Of course I'm real." 
-Leela: "After all this time, somebody else with one eye who isn't a clumsy
-carpenter or a kid with a BB gun." 
-%
-Alcazar: "I hope you don't think less of me because I live in a giant
-castle." 
-%
-Leela: "He's crude and gross and he treats me like a slave." 
-Fry: "Then dump his one-eyed ass." 
-%
-Alcazar: "Leela, this must all be very confusing." 
-Leela: "A little. That's why I've decided to hurt you until you explain it." 
-%
-Leela: "If you could change form, why didn't you change it in the one place
-that counts?"
-%
-Fry: "Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually, it wasn't her's, it was
-her dad's. Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and 
-never closed her curtains." 
-Leela: "Fry, remember what I told you about always ending your stories a
-sentence earlier?" 
-%
-Bender: "Aw, I think I got whiplash." 
-Leela: "You can't have whiplash, you don't have a neck." 
-Bender: "I meant ass whiplash." 
-%
-Dr. Zoidberg: "It funny because it's poisonous." 
-Fry: "Yeah, keep laughing, brine shrimp." 
-%
-Fry: "I'm not prejudiced." 
-Bender: "Ah, save it for the cross-burning, Adolf." 
-%
-Bob Barker: "Which one of these lovely womanoids will take home atomic tiara?" 
-%
-Bob Barker: "I may be against the fur industry, but that won't stop me from
-skinning you alive... as long as no one wears the skin."
-
-Fry: "How can I live my life if I can't tell good from evil?" 
-Bender: "Ah, they're both fine choices, whatever floats your boat."
-%
-"Are you all right?" -Leela 
-"Ah, it's nothing a a law suit won't cure." -Bender 
-%
-"Aw, poor baby, chipped a fang." -Leela 
-"Hey, I got a busted ass here! I don't see anyone kissing it." -Bender 
-"All right, I'm coming." -Zoidberg 
-%
-"Just make a simple cake. And this time, if someone's going to jump out of
-it, make sure to put them in after you cook it." 
- -Leela 
-%
-"And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place
-where I too hope one day to go: the toilet." 
-	-Prof. Farnsworth
-%
-"Hey, you know what'd cheer you up? You should get yourself a puppy." -Amy 
-"A puppy? Nibbler loved to eat puppies...." -Leela 
-%
-"I love every living creature." -Leela 
-"Even me?" -Fry 
-"As a friend." -Leela
-%
-"Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh." -Fry 
-"Well, it's a Fox affiliate." -TV worker guy 
-"What are you showing right now?" -Fry 
-"'Single Female Lawyer.' It's the season finale. Wanna watch?" -TV worker
-guy 
-"I dunno. That's a chick show. I prefer programs of the genre, World's
-Blankiest Blank." -Fry 
-"She is wearing the world's shortiest skirt." -TV worker guy 
-"I'm in." -Fry 
-%
-"Oh my god, you knocked Fox off the air!" -TV worker guy 
-"Like anyone on earth cares." -Fry 
-%
-"This is an outrage! I demand to know what happened to the plucky lawyer and
-her compellingly short garments." -alien 
-%
-"Fry, you're wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You need to get
-out and see the real world." -Leela 
-"But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world." -Fry 
-"Everyone's too polite to say anything, but you're covered with bed sores."
-	-Leela 
-"Not covered." -Fry 
-%
-"This is the kind of castle King Arthur would have lived in... if he were a
-fiddler crab." -Fry 
-%
-"I refuse to fight! I'm a concientious objector." -Bender 
-"A what?" -Fry 
-"You know, a coward." -Bender 
-%
-"This is turning into one very sexy struggle for the human race."
- -Zapp Brannigan 
-%
-"I'm gonna be a science fiction hero, just like Uhura, or Captain Janeway,
-or Xena!" -Fry 
-"Fry, this isn't TV, it's real life. Can't you tell the difference?" -Leela 
-"Sure, I just like TV better." -Fry 
-%
-"It was just a matter of knowing the secret of all TV shows: at the end of
-the episode, everything's always right back to normal." -Fry
-%
-Fry: "Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a
-university on Mars."
-Prof. Farnsworth: "Well in those days Mars was just a dreary uninhabitable 
-wasteland... much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made livable,
-when the university was founded in 2636."
-Leela: "They planted traditional college foliage: ivy, trees, hemp...."
-%
-Fatbot: "I heard that in one single night you drank a whole keg, streaked across
-campus, and crammed fifty-eight humans into a phone booth."
-Bender: "Yeah, well, a lot of 'em were children...."
-%
-"Don't take this the wrong way, Fry, but you don't seem like the educated
-type." -Leela 
-%
-Fry: "Hey, professor, what are you teaching this semester?"
-Prof. Farnsworth: "Same thing I teach every semester, the mathematics of 
-quantum nutrino fields. I made up the title so that no student would 
-dare take it."
-Fry: "Mathematics of wonton burrito meals...." 
-Prof. Farnsworth: "Please, Fry, I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor."
-%
-"From this day forth, Robot House is on dodecatuple secret probation." -Dean
-Vernon 
-%
-"He's an animal. He belongs in the wild. Or in the circus on one of those
-tiny tricycles. Now that's entertainment." -Fry
-%
-"Take it off or else I break it off." -Leela, with Fry's arm around her
-%
- "Leela, perhaps this is an awkward time, but if things don't work out with
-this pipsqueak here, I just want you to know I'll be there to score you on
-the rebound." -Zapp 
-%
-"In case you were wondering, that was just for Zapp." 
-	-Leela, after kissing Fry
-%
-Fry: "Do you have anything else for him?"
-Contess de la Roca: "Lovely, isn't it?" 
-Bender: "Yeah, but only 93% as lovely as you."
-Contess de la Roca: "Oh, Bender. Either that was a computing error, or 
-you're the most romantic robot I've ever met." 
-%
-"I'm a fraud - a poor, lazy, sexy fraud." -Bender 
-%
-"Bender, I don't care whether you have money. I love you for your artificial
-intelligence and your sincerity simulator."
- -Countess de la Roca
-%
-"As a gentleman, I must warn you, if you so much as glance at another woman,
-I'll be over Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure." -Zapp
-%
-"I learned how to handle delicate social situations from a little show
-called 'Three's Company.'" -Fry 
-%
-Leela: "Oh my God, we're heading straight into a black hole!" 
-Fry: "Talk about a mood killer." 
-%
-"Wait a second, aren't you a member of the yacht club?" -Bender 
-"My God, you're right. I'm a class 3 yacht." -Countess de la Roca 
-%
-"Look, it's our nebula. Whenever I see it I'll think back to when we
-almost..." (nebula gets sucked into the black hole) 
-"Oop. Nevermind." -Fry
-%
-Amy: "Bender, your beer belly's so big your door won't even close. And that
- doesn't even make sense." 
-%
-Fry: "Maybe he has a parasite." 
-Hermes: "Maybe he is a parasite." 
-%
-Bender to Zoidberg: "You're looking less nuts, crabby." 
-%
-Leela: "It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast." 
-Zoidberg: "Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female
- swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material." 
-Fry: "You and me both, brother." 
-%
-Fry: "Make up some feelings and tell her you have them. Yes?" 
-Zoidberg: "Is the desire to mate a feeling?" 
-%
-Edna: "Excuse me, I've got to powder my mouth flaps." 
-%
-Edna: "Teach me to love you, squishy poet from beyond the stars." 
-Fry: "I'm flattered, really. If I was gonna do it with a big freaky mud bug,
- you'd be way up the list."
-%
-Bender: Fry, of all the friends I've had, you're the first.
-%
-Bender: I believe that qualifies as ill. At least from a technical 
- standpoint.
-%
-(talking to the Beastie Boys) 
-Fry: Wow. I love you guys. Back in the 20th century, I had all five of
- your albums.
-Ad-Rock: That was a thousand years ago. Now we got seven. 
-Fry: Cool. Can I borrow the new ones. And a couple of blank tapes?
-%
-Bender: Hey! What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one
- hooker.
-%
-Leela: Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are 
- you jacking on in there?
-%
-Professor Nerdstrom: Sit. I said sit! Bad fish!
-%
-Bender: OK, but I don't want anyone thinking we're robosexuals.
-%
-Bender: Oh no! Not the magnet!
-%
-Fry: What's with the eye?
-%
-Farnsworth: Oh my God!! 
-Fry: What is it? 
-Farnsworth: It's..It's...It's my new pager!
-%
-Leela: Now strip naked and get on the probulator.
-%
-Bender: Bite my shiny, metal ass!
-%
-Bender: Well I don't have anything else planned for today, let's get drunk!
-%
-Leela: Hold Still, I don't have good depth perception!
-%
-Farnsworth: Oh no! I should do something....but i am already in my pajamas.
-%
-Bender: He's gay. 
-Leela: How do you know? 
-Bender: I have this thing called gaydar.
-%
-Bender: Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! 
- With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space 
- lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!
-%
-Bender: A woman like that you gotta romance first!
-%
-Cops: I'm going to get 24th Century on his ass!
-%
-Human female: "Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?" 
-Morbo: "Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings were shocked today 
- to learn that a ball of garbage will destroy their pathetic
- city of New New York."
-Human female: "Makes me glad that we live here in Los Angeles."
-Morbo: "Morbo agrees." 
-%
-Human female: "All in all. This is one day that mitten the kitten will not 
- soon forget."
-Morbo: "Kittens give Morbo gas. In later news the city of New New 
- York is doomed. Blame rests with known human professor Hubert 
- Farnsworth and his tiny inferior brain." 
-%
-Human female: "And so with two weeks left in the campaign, the question 
- on everyone's mind is, who will be the president of Earth? 
- Jack Johnson or bitter rival John Jackson. 
- Two terrific candidates, Morbo?" 
-Morbo: "All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo." 
-Human female: "In other local news, disaster struck on Saturn's moon of Titan 
- today, where titanium mine collapsed, trapping one thousand 
- robot workers. Unless something is done quickly the trapped 
- robots will be dead within 300 years. Sir, what rescue 
- operations are planned?" 
-Mine spokesman: "The plan is basically to pave over the area and get on with 
- our lives." 
-Morbo: "The news of mine's closing sent titanium prices sky 
- rocketing." 
-%
-Morbo: "Morbo will now introduce tonights candidates. Puny human 
- number one, puny human number two and Morbo's good friend 
- Richard Nixon." 
-Nixon: "Hello Morbo. How's the family?" 
-Morbo: "Belligerent and numerous." 
-Nixon: "Good man, Nixon's pro-war and pro-family." 
-%
-Morbo: "Morbo demands an answer to the following question. If you saw 
- a delicious candy in the hands of a small child. Would you 
- seize and consume it?" 
-John Jackson: "Unthinkable."
-Jack Johnson: "I wouldn't think of it." 
-Morbo: "What about you Mr. Nixon? I remind you. You are under of a 
- truth-o-scope."
-Nixon: "Question is vague. You don't say what kind of candy and 
- whether anyone is watching. In anyway I certainly wouldn't
- harm the child."
-%
-Human female: "The sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to 
- it's highest level in centuries, six percent." 
-Morbo: "Exit poll show evil underdog Richard Nixon trailing with 
- estimated zero votes." 
-Human female: "The time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening. And 
- robot votes are now in. Nixon has won." 
-Morbo: "Morbo congratulates our gargantuan cyborg president. May death 
- come quickly to his enemies." 
-%
-Human female: "The holiday season is time of celebration for most but it is 
- also the time to remember the tragic suffering of the less 
- fortunate." 
-Morbo: "Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering." 
-Human female: "Earlier today I visited the shelter for down-and-out robots. 
- Homeless robots too poor to afford even the basic alcohol they 
- need fuel their circuits. Is there anything sadder? 
- Only drowning puppies and there have to be a lot of them."
Binary files fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/futurama.dat and fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/futurama.dat differ
diff -Nru fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/futurama fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/futurama
--- fortune-mod-futurama-0.2.orig/futurama	Thu Jan  1 00:00:00 1970
+++ fortune-mod-futurama-0.2/futurama	Fri Feb  7 15:02:26 2003
@@ -0,0 +1,1154 @@
+ Leela: Hey, you know what might be a hoot?
+ Professor: No. Why would I know that? 
+%
+ Fry: I want to see the edge of the universe.
+ Amy: Ooh, that sounds cool. 
+ Zoidberg: It's funny. You live in the universe by you 
+  never do these things 'til someone comes to visit.
+%
+ Fry: So, there's an infinite number of parallel universes?
+ Professor: No, just the two.
+ Fry: Oh, well, I'm sure that's enough.
+%
+ Handcrafters: New hands in about an hour
+ Fry: These new hands are great. I'm gonna break them in tonight.
+%
+ Fry: I've only got two fantasies left: to be invisible in a 
+chocolate factory, and to be romantically linked to a  celebrity.
+ Bender: I could pound your head 'til you think that's what happened.
+ Fry: Okay.
+%
+ nappster.com: Download any celebrity from A.A. Milne to Z.Z. Top
+%
+ If food is not reasonably clean, return uneaten portion for partial refund
+%
+ Brooklyn Aquarium, special exhibit: boids of da wattah
+%
+ Professor: Oh, dear. She's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot. 
+   Well, that's love for you.
+%
+ Bender: Stay away from our women. You got metal fever, baby, metal fever! 
+%
+ Professor: I knew I should have shown him "Electro-Gonnorhea, the Noisy Killer."
+%
+ Lucy Liu: That was incredible, Bender. You're like Jackie Chan 
+   before he got all doughy.
+%
+ Zapp: Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes. 
+%
+ Leela: And nappster says illegal copies never hurt anybody. 
+%
+ Fry: Lucy Liu-bot, if I don't survive the corn, I want you to know that I 
+ love you as much as a man can love a computerized image of a gorgeous 
+ celebrity, which it turns out is a lot.
+%
+ Leela: Your face can take a lot of punishment. That's good to know. 
+ Fry: There's a lot about my face you don't know.
+%
+ Professor: While you were gone the Trotters held a news conference 
+   to announce that I was a jive sucker.
+%
+ Marv Albert: He's really showing us what a man with a cannon 
+   in his chest can do.
+%
+ Leela: I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again you screwed 
+ up. Now all the planets are gonna start crackin' wise about our mommas. 
+ Hermes: I'm just glad my fat ugly momma isn't alive to see this day.
+%
+ Bubblegum: Good lord, that sucker's shakin' around like 
+   some fine imported booty.
+%
+ Leela: Zoidberg!
+ Zoidberg: Sorry, you must have been boring. 
+%
+ Leela: I love his boyish charm, but I hate his childishness.
+%
+ Fry: Drugs are for losers, and hypnosis is for losers with big weird eyebrows.
+%
+ Fry: How did I get Leela to love me? I've got to figure it out. 
+ Hermes: Maybe you're just a fantastic lover, Fry. 
+ Amy: No.
+%
+ Professor: Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's 
+ court. I suppose I could part with one and still be feared. 
+%
+ Bubblegum: Bender, you can talk trash, you can handle the ball, 
+ but look in your heart and ask yourself: are you funky
+ enough to be a Globe Trotter? Are you?
+ Bender: Yes.
+ Bubblegum: Are you? 
+ Bender: I mean, with time, my funk level could... 
+ Bubblegum: Are you?!
+ Bender: No. 
+ Bubblegum: Deal with it.
+%
+Futurama is brought to you by Thompson's Teeth, the 
+only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth.
+%
+ Zoidberg: So many memories, so many strange fluids gushing out 
+   of patients' bodies....
+%
+ Fry: Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age.
+ Bender: I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off.
+%
+ Roberto: Geez, I've seen lines move faster in a sperm bank. 
+%
+ Famous Original Ray's Superior Court
+%
+ Fry: I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be 
+   chopped up into a patty. 
+ Judge Whitey: Ah, the sixty-seventh ammendment. 
+%
+ Fry: Ow, my head! Ow, my feet! Ow, my head! Ow, my feet!
+ Professor: Keep your chin up. 
+ Fry: Ow, my chin! 
+%
+ HAL Institute for Criminally Insane Robots
+%
+ Fry: You gotta help me, Bender. How can I prove I'm human?
+ Bender: You could drop dead. That'd show 'em. 
+ Fry: I don't wanna. 
+%
+ Fry: I'm not a robot like you. I don't like having disks crammed 
+ into me... unless they're Oreos, and then only in the mouth.
+%
+ Amy: Bender, you should be more ashamed of yourself than usual. 
+%
+ Fry: I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me? 
+ Leela: Oh, lots of reasons. 
+%
+ Leela: Okay, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his 
+   humanity the way only a woman can. 
+ Professor: You're going to do his laundry?
+%
+ Amy: Aw, he looks like a little insane drunken angel. 
+%
+ Professor: Ouch! That's going to bleed when my heart beats.
+%
+ Fry: Mmm, the gristle in a blanket isn't half bad.
+ Bender: And try one of these popsicle sticks. They've 
+   absorbed quite a bit of flavor. 
+%
+ Leela: I guess you never really outgrow being an eyeball... oddball.
+%
+ Adelai: A package is just a box until it's delivered. 
+%
+ Fry: Hey, why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass?
+%
+ One of Bender's kids: Our dad is a giant toy! 
+%
+ One of Bender's kids: Can we have Bender burgers again? 
+ Bender: No, the cat shelter's onto me.
+%
+ Leela: Oh, Adelai, I've had a wonderful time today. No one's stared 
+ at me, or avoided staring at me, or tried to burn me. You make me 
+ feel so not weird.
+%
+ Fry: What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us 
+   aren't normal. And that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg. He's 
+   a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.
+ Zoidberg: Damn right. 
+ Fry: And the professor's a senile amoral crackpot.
+ Professor: Oyeeaii. (waves) 
+ Fry: Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.
+ Hermes: Tally me banana.
+ Fry: Amy is a klutz from Mars.
+ Amy: Whoops. (drops her glass)
+ Professor: And Fry, you've got that brain thing.
+ Fry: I already did! 
+%
+ Bender: I need a calculator.
+ Fry: You are a calculator.
+ Bender: I need a good calculator. 
+%
+ Cop: You're under arrest for child cruelty, child endangerment, depriving 
+ children of food, selling children as food, and misrepresenting 
+ the weight of livestock.
+%
+ Fry: Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything. 
+%
+ Hermes: Baby needs a new pair of shoes! 
+ Zoidberg: To hell with your spoiled baby, I need those shoes. 
+%
+ Professor: No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it.
+%
+Fry: Augh, I am so unlucky. I've run over black cats that were luckier than me.
+%
+ Fry: That's it! You can only take my money for so long before you 
+   take it all and I say enough! 
+%
+ Leela: Well, someone's in a good mode.
+%
+ Professor: Dirt doesn't need luck.
+%
+ Bender: Old New York, the city that inspired a casino in Las Vegas. 
+%
+ Loosely confederate colors of Benetton
+%
+ Bender: This is the Brooklyn-bound B train making local stops at wherever 
+ the hell I feel like, watch for the closing doors.
+%
+ Fry: Ah, the Breakfast Club soundtrack. Man, I can't wait until I'm old 
+   enough to feel ways about stuff.
+%
+ Fry: That clover helped my rat-fink brother steal my dream of going into 
+   space. Now I'll never get there. 
+ Leela: You went there this morning for donuts.
+%
+ Fry: Leela, Bender, we're going grave-robbing.
+ Bender: I'll get my kit!
+%
+ Bender: Grab a shovel. I'm only one skull short of a Mousketeer reunion.
+%
+ Leela: That aerosal head spray makes your antenna smell nice... 
+ Bender: Thank you.
+ Leela: ...but it's doing long-term damage to the planet.
+ Bender: So? It's not like it's the only one we've got.
+%
+ Professor: The tanker has six-thousand hulls, so, unlike me, 
+   it's entirely leak-proof.
+%
+ Professor: Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good 
+ captain can't have either one. That's why cold, logical Bender 
+ is perfect for the job.
+ Bender: Well, I do think of human life as expendable. 
+%
+ Paul: If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey, 
+ I don't wanna be right.
+%
+ Give a hoot-o 
+ Don't pollute Pluto 
+%
+ Leela: Bender's flying too low! And he's upside-down! 
+ Protestor: He must be talking on a cell-phone.
+%
+ Paul: Good way to avoid frostbite, folks, put your hands between 
+ your buttocks. That's nature's pocket. 
+%
+ Fry: Where's Captain Bender? Off catastrophizing some other planet? 
+%
+ Paul: It seems dark-matter is nature's sex drug. It's like a perverted 
+ trail mix of penguin estrogen, penguine Viagra and Spanish penguin fly.
+%
+ Leela: Is there some way to keep them from breeding?
+ Paul: Cold showers don't work on Antarctic creatures. 
+%
+ Leela: I'm sorry, but if it's fun in any way it's not environmentalism. 
+ Paul: Oh, really? How about blowing up dams?
+%
+ Bender: I don't know why, but when I look down at their little faces 
+ it makes me want to puke... in a good way. 
+%
+ Bender: If it ain't black and white, peck, scratch and bite.
+%
+ Bender: Life is hilariously cruel.
+%
+ Professor: I've been a Harold Zoid fan since back when my 
+   hips were made of bone. 
+%
+ Zoidberg: This letter has to be very personal, so I'm 
+ 	writing it in my own ink.
+%
+ Final Curtain 
+ Old Actors' Home
+%
+ Star Tours
+ Note: bus does not leave earth
+%
+ Calculon: I'm programmed to be very busy. 
+%
+ Zoidberg: That's where I'm meeting Uncle Zoid for lunch to 
+ discuss my Hollywood dream. The next time you see me, don't
+ be surprised if I've eaten. 
+%
+ Zoidberg: Uncle Zoid, you're looking young enough to be thrown back!
+%
+ Calculon: An Oscar, you say? That would get me out of this festering 
+   rats' nest called television once and for all. 
+%
+ Calculon: I just pray they like me half as much as I do.
+%
+ La Brea Tar Pits
+ As seen on the tar channel
+%
+ Calculon: I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this. 
+%
+ Oscar Party 
+ No losers admitted
+%
+ Champion Pet Show Today 
+ Kids: See Toucan Sam's death mask 
+%
+ Awards ceremony in progress 
+ No pooping
+%
+ Leela: Ah, maybe they're right, maybe Nibbler is dumb.
+ Fry: Don't listen to them, Leela. People said I was dumb but I proved them!
+%
+ Fry: What are we going to do? 
+ Professor: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery. 
+ Amy: No, let's buy internet stock.
+ Zoidberg: On margin! Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.
+ Hermes: Look at me! I'm invisible.
+ Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.
+ Bender: Hey, let's go join the Reform party!
+ Everyone: Yeah! 
+%
+ Niblonian: They travel from world to world making everyone stupid in 
+   order to wipe out all thought in the universe. 
+ Leela: Wipe out all thought? My God, they're like flying televisions. 
+%
+ Niblonian 1: You must tell him to disable it. We will do the rest.
+ Leela: You can count on me! 
+ Niblonian 1: No we can't. Once on Earth, you will be too stupid 
+   to remember the message.
+ Niblonian 2: That's why we wrote it down. 
+ Niblonian 3: We've also prepared a bag lunch and some mittens.
+%
+Professor: Those delightful birds with their chirp chirp chirp 
+    and their tweet tweet splat. 
+%
+ Professor: Some say I'm robbing the cradle but I say she's robbing the grave.
+%
+ Tonight's special, blackened leftovers
+%
+ Tonight's special, blackened blackened leftovers
+%
+ Bender: I finally meet a nice girl with a pair of legs 
+   that don't quite unexpectedly...
+%
+ Robot Nite - Designated device drivers drink free 
+%
+ Got protoplasm? 
+%
+ Bender: I ain't your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. 
+   You even love anybody pretending to be him!
+ Angleyne: Well, maybe I love you so much I love you no matter 
+   who you're pretending to be.
+ Bender: Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that.
+%
+ Professor: Perhaps it's your outlook that need a good bend, a ninety 
+ degree bend to a place where happiness is perpendicular to wonderment.
+%
+Zapp: There's only one surefire way back into a woman's heart and 
+  parts beyond. I speak, of course, of Karaoke. 
+%
+ Zapp: She's built like a steak house but she handles like a bistro. 
+%
+ Zapp: You win again, gravity! 
+%
+ Zoidberg: Muy macho. Hey, gringos, here comes El Zoido to ruin 
+   your drinking water! 
+%
+ Bender: Oh... your... God.
+%
+ Leela: Bender, maybe you can interface with the Femputer and 
+   reprogram it to let them go. 
+ Bender: Maybe you can interface with my ass... by biting it.
+%
+ Zapp: The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongey and bruised.
+%
+Regular Matter, Dark Matter, Wassa Matter 
+%
+ Fry: It's like a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up.
+%
+ Janitor: Oh, marmalade! 
+%
+ Bender: He's a witch! 
+%
+ Amy: Worms? Ew, pukatronic! 
+%
+ Professor: Anywho, your net suits will let you experience Fry's 
+ worm-infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them. 
+ Zoidberg: There's no part of that sentence I didn't like.
+%
+ Professor: This is gonna be one hell of a bowel movement. Afterwards, 
+he'll be lucky if he has any bones left.
+%
+ Fry: Have you ever been in love?
+ Worm Mayor: No, I thought I was once, but then I remembered our 
+ species reproduces with a cloud of spores.
+%
+ Worm Mayor: One day you'll be eating a fast-food burger and BOOM, 
+ you'll be crawling with us again. Ever wonder what makes 
+ special sauce so special? Yo.
+%
+ Bender: Pardon me, brother. Care to donate to the anti-mugging you fund?
+ Leela: We don't need to beg, Bender. For God's sake, we're not veterans.
+%
+ Applied Cryogenics: It seems to work OK.
+%
+ Bender: That probulator sure knows how to please a man. 
+%
+ Fry: Nowadays people aren't interested in art that's not tattooed on fat guys.
+%
+ Hermes: Dating your ex, Fry? Have you lost all self-respect?
+ Fry: All what?
+%
+ Fry: Things are different this time. Before she was demanding and 
+ possessive, but now she wants me to do stuff and stay with her all the time.
+%
+ Michelle: I can't find a vanishing cream that doesn't make me actually vanish.
+%
+ Fry: Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. 
+%
+ Michelle: You expect me to live in a tiny little hole?
+ Fry: It'd be deeper, but I'm standing on a gopher.
+%
+ Michelle: You should be chief.
+ Fry: What do I need, ulcers?
+%
+ Michelle: When we get back to the hole we are going to have a long 
+   boring talk about our relationship.
+%
+ Loew's Qaddafi's Mann's Grauman's Chinese Theater
+%
+ Fry: Ooh, Big Pink. It's the only gum with the breath freshening power of ham.
+ Bender: And it pinkens your teeth while you chew. 
+%
+ Earth Army Recruiting Center: What are you, chicken? Buk buk buk! 
+%
+ Professor: Now, be careful, Fry. And if you kill anyone, make sure to eat 
+ their heart to gain their courage. Their rich tasty courage.
+%
+ Earth men are real men! 
+%
+ Fry: Whoah. Check out that guy. He makes Speedy Gonzales look like 
+ Regular Gonzalez.
+%
+ Officers' club: We don't know but we've been told, our beer on tap is 
+ mighty cold.
+%
+ Brannigan: You'll be negotiating with the aliens' mysterious leaders, the 
+ Brain Balls. They've got a lot of brains, and they've got a lot of chutzpah.
+%
+ Henry Kissinger: Young man, you have the bravery of a hero and breath 
+ as fresh as a summer ham. 
+%
+ War over! Balls thoroughly licked.
+%
+Leela: You buy one pound of underwear and you're on their list forever.
+%
+   Professor: Superstitious robot mumbo jumbo.   
+   Old robot: Mumbo, perhaps, jumbo, perhaps not.
+%
+   Old robot: I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe.
+%
+   Robot priest: And so we commend Vladimir's remains to the earth: 
+   filings to filings, rust to rust.
+%
+   Bender: I get a good vibe from this place. Nice long dinner table, 
+   quiet well-behaved spiders, graveyards adjacent.... 
+%
+   Bender: Oh, Lord, I'm on the verge of a nervous melt-down.
+%
+   Bender: I can't keep running people over. I'm not famous enough 
+   to get away with it.  
+%
+   Gypsy robot: You want to die? 
+   Bender: No, I wanna live! There's still too many things I don't own.  
+%
+   Leela: Well, goodnight. I'm gonna go make my dinners for the next month 
+   and freeze them.  
+%
+   Fry: Words. Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter orange
+   wax in my ears.   
+%
+   Old robot: What are ye doing? 
+   Bender: We're whaling on the original were-car, which is you, you jerk.   
+   Old robot: Ye think me be he? 
+   Bender: Si.   
+   Old robot: Nee. I mean, no.   
+%
+   Calculon: I was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, 
+   Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!
+%
+   Leela: You guys distract the were-car, and I'll kill it by plugging its 
+   exhaust pipe with this silver potato. 
+%
+   Leela: Oh no, there's no exhaust pipe.
+   Project Satan: That's right. Thanks to Ed Begley Jr.'s electric motor, the 
+   most evil propulsion system ever conceived!
+%
+   Were-Bender: Oh boy, I feel like a car in a candy store.  
+%
+   Bender: Hey, that's my last beer, you bastard. I'll kill you! 
+   Fry: I'll kill you too, buddy, I'll kill you too.
+%
+"C'mon guys. Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999...again." -Fry 
+ "I'm gonna drink 'till I reboot." -Bender 
+%
+ "Who was that guy?" -Fry 
+ "Your momma! Now shut up and drag me to work." -Bender 
+%
+ "Bender, we didn't mind your drinking or your cleptomania or your
+pornography ring." -Leela 
+ "In fact, that's why we love you." -Zoidberg 
+%
+ "If only he had joined a mainstream religion, like Oprahism or Voodoo."
+-Professor 
+%
+ "Who would have though hell would really exist? And that it would be in New
+Jersey?" -Leela 
+"Actually..." - Fry
+%
+"Good news, everyone. Tomorrow you'll be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the
+virus planet." -Professor 
+ "Why can't they go today?" 
+ "Because tonight's a special night, and I want all of you to be alive."
+-Professor 
+%
+ "Eureka!" -Professor 
+ "Did you build the Smell-o-scope?" -Fry 
+ "No. I remembered that I built one last year." -Professor 
+%
+ "This is a great, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus. Heh heh."
+-Fry 
+ "I don't get it." -Leela 
+ "I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid
+joke once and for all." -Professor 
+ "Oh. What's it called now?" -Fry 
+ "Urectum." -Professor 
+%
+ "I gotta be sure this isn't another scientific fraud like global warming
+or second-hand smoke." -Mayor 
+%
+ "But suppose we sent a crew to plant an explosive precisely on the fault
+line between this mass of coffee grounds and this 
+ deposit of America Online floppy disks." -Professor 
+ "In theory, it could work." -General 
+ "In theory, perhaps, but you'll never find a crew willing to take on a
+mission so suicidally dangerous." -Wernstrom 
+ "Aw, jeez." -Bender 
+%
+ "Ahhh! We're gonna die! Right?" -Fry 
+ "Right." -Bender 
+ "Ahhh!" -Fry 
+%
+ "And so, on behalf of the entire city, I thank you Professor Farnsworth. I
+now present you with the Academy Prize, which we 
+ confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom after it became apparent that he was a
+jackass." -Mayor 
+%
+ "And Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt as well. Were it not for your
+twentieth century garbage-making skills, we'd all be 
+ buried under twentieth century garbage." -Mayor
+%
+"Good news, everyone." -Professor 
+ "Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that." -Bender 
+ "You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisaw." -Professor 
+ "Here it comes." -Bender 
+ "A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the forbidden zone."
+-Professor 
+ "Thank you, and goodnight." -Bender 
+%
+ "What am I gonna do?" -Fry 
+ "We've got to get the emperor out of your body before they kill you." -Amy 
+ "Relax, Fry, I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge separating
+out the denser fluid of his highness." 
+ "Won't that crush my bones?" -Fry 
+ "Oh, right, right, with the bones. I always forget about the bones."
+%
+"Lightspeed briefs: style and comfort for the discriminating crotch."
+-announcer 
+%
+ "Didn't you have ads in the twentieth century?" -Leela 
+ "Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio...and in
+magazines...and movies, and at ballgames, and on buses, and 
+ milk cartons, and T-shirts, and bananas, and written in the sky. But not in
+dreams, no sirree." -Fry 
+%
+ "I don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for
+his skeleton?" -Leela 
+%
+ "Maybe you can't understand this, but I finally found what I need to be
+happy, and it's not friends, it's things." -Fry
+%
+ "Face it, Fry, baseball was as boring as mom and apple pie. That's why they
+jazzed it up." -Leela 
+ "Boring? Baseball wasn't...hmmm, so they finally jazzed it up." -Fry 
+%
+ "Hey, I'm startin' to get the hang of this game. The blerns are loaded. The
+count's three blerns and two anti-blerns, and the 
+ infield blern rule is in effect. Right?" -Fry 
+ "Other than the word blern, that was complete gibberish." -Leela 
+%
+ "I love this planet. I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of
+sleaze that those things bring." -Bender
+%
+"This is Vergon 6." -Professor 
+ "Bah." -Amy 
+ It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little
+doomed animals." -Professor 
+%
+ "I betcha Leela's holding out for a nice guy with one eye." -Fry 
+ "That'll take forever. What she oughta do is find a nice guy with two eyes
+and poke one out." -Bender 
+ "Yeah, that'd be a timesaver." -Fry 
+%
+ "I don't care how many eyes a man has... as long as it's less than five."
+-Leela 
+%
+ "I heard one time you single-handedly defeated a hoard of rampaging of
+somethings in the something something system." -Fry 
+%
+ "I might have liked Zap Brannigan if he weren't a pompous dimwit who threw
+me in prison." -Leela "You really are too picky." 
+ -Bender 
+%
+ "Y'know, Zap, once I thought you were a big pompous buffoon. Then I
+realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But 
+ now I realize that outside that child is just a big pompous buffoon."
+-Leela 
+%
+"Bachelor Chow. Now with flavor." -announcer 
+%
+ "Why don't you just come move in with me?" -Bender 
+ "Really? That would be great! You sure I won't be imposing?" -Fry 
+ "Nah. I've always wanted a pet." -Bender 
+%
+ "Listen, Bender, where's your bathroom?" -Fry 
+ "Bath what?" -Bender 
+ "Bathroom." -Fry 
+ "What room?" -Bender 
+ "Bathroom!" -Fry 
+ "What what?" Bender 
+ "Ah, nevermind." -Fry 
+%
+ "Hey, sexy mama. Wanna kill all the humans?" -Bender 
+%
+ "Well, I give up. What's the catch?" -Fry 
+ "Oh, no catch. Although we are, technically, in New Jersey." -Real estate
+agent 
+%
+ "Look at that five o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking,
+haven't you?" -Leela
+%
+"Planet Express: our crew is replaceable, your package isn't." -Advertisement 
+%
+ "I'm never gonna get used to the thirty-first century. Caffeinated bacon?
+Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?" -Fry 
+ "Well if you don't like that, try some Archduke Chocula." -Leela 
+%
+ "I'm gonna be a famous hero just like Neil Armstrong and those other brave
+guys no one ever heard of." -Fry 
+%
+ "Hurry up! I wanna see the moon." -Fry 
+ "Relax. It's open 'till nine." -Leela 
+%
+ "That's one small step for Fry..." -Fry 
+ "...and one giant line for admission." -stranger in line 
+%
+ "C'mon, it's just like making love. Y'know, left, down, rotate sixty-two
+degrees, engage rotors...." -Bender 
+%
+ "I'm gonna go build my own theme park... with blackjack and hookers! In
+fact, forget the park!" -Bender 
+%
+ "Trespassers, eh?" -farmer 
+ "No, sir. We're amusement park patrons." -Fry 
+ "Oooh, that's a wicked sinful place. Tilt-a-whirl's okay, but the rest is
+mighty wicked." -farmer 
+%
+ "I never told anybody this, but a thousand years ago I used to look up at
+the moon and dream about being an astronaut. I just 
+ didn't have the grades, or the physical endurance, plus I threw up a lot,
+and nobody liked spending a week with me." -Fry
+%
+"Please select mode of death: quick and painless or slow and horrible."
+ "Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call." -Fry 
+ "You have selected slow and horrible." -Automated voice 
+ "Great choice." -Bender 
+%
+ "Why would a robot need to drink?" -Fry 
+ "I don't need to drink, I can quit anytime I want." -Bender 
+%
+ "Good lord. What is this?" -Fry 
+ "It's the decaying ruins of old New York. Welcome home, pal!" -Bender 
+%
+"It was nice of you to let me reattach your arm."
+ --Zoidber
+%
+"Finally, I have a good claw! See? Three human females, a number, and
+a king giving himself brain surgery!"
+ --Zoidberg, on the ideal poker hand
+%
+"All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo!"
+ --Morbo
+%
+"So.. humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this
+information very useful indeed. Mwahwahahahaha!"
+ --Morbo
+%
+"Please don't hit me! I'm brittle!"
+ --Zoidberg
+%
+"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!"
+"You can't *own* property, man!"
+"I can! That's because I'm not a penniless hippie!" 
+ --Farnsworth & hippie
+%
+"The point is, you shouldn't eat things that feel pain." *BONK!* "Ow!"
+"Okay, we won't eat you!"
+ --hippie & Bender
+%
+"You're vegetarians! Who cares what you do?"
+ --Leela
+%
+Dr. Zoidberg: "Help! A guinea pig tricked me."
+%
+Dr. Zoidberg: "Talk to the claw."
+Bender: "Bite my collosal metal ass."
+%
+Bender: "I came here with a simple dream, a dream of killing all humans."
+%
+Dr. Zoidberg: "Okay, so you're nonchalant, stop rubbing our noses in it.
+%
+Bender: "Blackmail's such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it
+sound cool."
+%
+Al Gore to Fry: "You fool! You foolish fool!"
+%
+Hermes to Bender: "What did you get her, you mushy gizmo?" 
+%
+Professor: "Good news. There's a report on TV with some very bad news." 
+%
+Zoidberg: "Hooray, I'm useful. I'm having a wonderful time." 
+%
+Mom's son: "Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman
+scorned." 
+%
+Professor: "The thought of caressing that leathery hide makes the tapioca
+rise in my gullet" 
+Fry: "Professor, please, the fate of the world depends on you getting to
+second base with Mom." 
+Professor: "Very well, if cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall." 
+%
+Fan: "Aha ha, fan beats man." 
+%
+Amy: "Way to go, Professor, the plan worked." 
+Mom: "Plan? What plan? I thought this was a spontaneous whirlwind of hot dry
+sex."
+%
+Leela: "Great. We're two days from earth with no food." 
+Bender: "Problem solved. You two fight to the death and I'll cook the
+loser." 
+%
+Leela: "Well, it's a type M planet, so it should at least have
+Roddenberries." 
+%
+Fry: "They're great! They're like sex except I'm having them." 
+%
+Pop a Poppler in your mouth 
+When you come to Fishy Joe's 
+What they're made of is a mystery 
+Where they come from no one knows 
+You can pick 'em you can lick 'em you can chew 'em you can stick 'em 
+If you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose. 
+%
+Zapp: "Why'd you open your bong-hole, you smelly hippie? You'd sacrifice a
+beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive 
+monkey? You must have smoked some bad granola." 
+%
+Professor: "A toast to Leela. She showed us it's wrong to eat certain
+things."
+%
+Bender: "Oh my God, I'm so excited I wish I could wet my pants." 
+%
+Professor Farnsworth: "Oh my, that steamed carrot was a bit spicy for me." 
+%
+Cop: "He's making a break for it. Get him!" 
+Fry: "No, no, I was just picking my nose." 
+Cop: "He's picking his nose. Get him!" 
+%
+Bender: "One of you will have to fill in for me while I'm gone." 
+Professor Farnsworth: "Better yet, I'll build someone to fill in for you.
+Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monsters with 
+freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal..." 
+%
+The boss: "Get a load of ball bearings on this guy." 
+%
+Bender: "You know the secret of traditional robot cooking? Start with a good
+high-quality oil, then eat it." 
+%
+Leela: "Where were you at 10pm last night?" 
+Professor Farnsworth: "Where am I now?" 
+%
+Bender: "Tell the Donbot I'm quitting organized crime. From now on I'll stick
+to the regular kind."
+%
+Bender: "Hey, guess what you're accessories to?" 
+%
+Bender: "Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending." 
+%
+Dr. Zoidberg: "Look at me! I'm Dr. Zoidberg, home-owner!" 
+%
+Bender: "Argh. The laws of science be a harsh mistress." 
+%
+Professor Farnsworth: "He may have ocean madness, but that's no excuse for
+ocean rudeness." 
+%
+Fry: "You know what I like best about you, Umbrielle? You find me
+fascinating, even when I'm not claiming to be a jewel thief 
+or a lion tamer." 
+%
+Hermes: "The poor demented honky." 
+%
+Bender: "In the event of an emergency, my ass can be used as a floatation
+device." 
+%
+Fry: "Hey, you guys, the most amazing thing happened, it's two-for-one
+Tuesday at Krispy Kreme! Plus there's mermaids." 
+%
+Hermes: "I miss my wife and my oxygen." 
+Professor Farnsworth: "Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gases." 
+%
+Amy: "What about Umbrielle?" 
+Fry: "Well, it turned out I loved her, but I wasn't in love with her." 
+Amy: "Trouble in bed." 
+%
+Hermes: "Hail, Atlanta."
+%
+Professor: "Good news, everyone, the university is bringing me up on
+disclipinary charges. Wait, that's not good news at all." 
+%
+Dr. Zoidberg: "Now I'm not saying Professor Farnsworth is old, but if you
+consider his age he's likely to die soon." 
+%
+Dr. Zoidberg: "A successor to the professor?" 
+%
+Hermes: "Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams
+things." 
+%
+Bender: "Is he dumb or just ugly?" 
+%
+Professor: "If a dog craps anywhere in the universe, you can bet I won't be
+out of loop." 
+%
+Professor: "Oh, vanity, thy name is Professor Farnsworth." 
+%
+Cubert: "Robots are very good at keeping secrets." 
+Bender: "No, we're not, you little bed-wetter. Oops, I'm sorry." 
+%
+Leela: "There it is, the near-death star." 
+%
+Cubert: "Why do I have to be the hump?" 
+Fry: "'Cause you're too ugly to be a wart." 
+%
+Leela: "We've blown out one of our engines." 
+Fry: "Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it... fix it, fix it, fix
+it!"
+%
+Professor: "Good news, everyone. Several years ago I tried to log onto AOL, and
+it just went through. Whee! We're online." 
+%
+Fry: "Well, thanks to the internet I'm now bored with sex. Is ther a place
+on the web that panders to my lust for violence?" 
+Bender: "Is the space-pope reptilian?" 
+%
+Computer: "Leela, you've got mail. It's not spam!" 
+%
+Leela: "Are you real, or am I seeing single?" 
+Alcazar: "Ow. Of course I'm real." 
+Leela: "After all this time, somebody else with one eye who isn't a clumsy
+carpenter or a kid with a BB gun." 
+%
+Alcazar: "I hope you don't think less of me because I live in a giant
+castle." 
+%
+Leela: "He's crude and gross and he treats me like a slave." 
+Fry: "Then dump his one-eyed ass." 
+%
+Alcazar: "Leela, this must all be very confusing." 
+Leela: "A little. That's why I've decided to hurt you until you explain it." 
+%
+Leela: "If you could change form, why didn't you change it in the one place
+that counts?"
+%
+Fry: "Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually, it wasn't her's, it was
+her dad's. Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and 
+never closed her curtains." 
+Leela: "Fry, remember what I told you about always ending your stories a
+sentence earlier?" 
+%
+Bender: "Aw, I think I got whiplash." 
+Leela: "You can't have whiplash, you don't have a neck." 
+Bender: "I meant ass whiplash." 
+%
+Dr. Zoidberg: "It funny because it's poisonous." 
+Fry: "Yeah, keep laughing, brine shrimp." 
+%
+Fry: "I'm not prejudiced." 
+Bender: "Ah, save it for the cross-burning, Adolf." 
+%
+Bob Barker: "Which one of these lovely womanoids will take home atomic tiara?" 
+%
+Bob Barker: "I may be against the fur industry, but that won't stop me from
+skinning you alive... as long as no one wears the skin."
+
+Fry: "How can I live my life if I can't tell good from evil?" 
+Bender: "Ah, they're both fine choices, whatever floats your boat."
+%
+"Are you all right?" -Leela 
+"Ah, it's nothing a a law suit won't cure." -Bender 
+%
+"Aw, poor baby, chipped a fang." -Leela 
+"Hey, I got a busted ass here! I don't see anyone kissing it." -Bender 
+"All right, I'm coming." -Zoidberg 
+%
+"Just make a simple cake. And this time, if someone's going to jump out of
+it, make sure to put them in after you cook it." 
+ -Leela 
+%
+"And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place
+where I too hope one day to go: the toilet." 
+	-Prof. Farnsworth
+%
+"Hey, you know what'd cheer you up? You should get yourself a puppy." -Amy 
+"A puppy? Nibbler loved to eat puppies...." -Leela 
+%
+"I love every living creature." -Leela 
+"Even me?" -Fry 
+"As a friend." -Leela
+%
+"Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh." -Fry 
+"Well, it's a Fox affiliate." -TV worker guy 
+"What are you showing right now?" -Fry 
+"'Single Female Lawyer.' It's the season finale. Wanna watch?" -TV worker
+guy 
+"I dunno. That's a chick show. I prefer programs of the genre, World's
+Blankiest Blank." -Fry 
+"She is wearing the world's shortiest skirt." -TV worker guy 
+"I'm in." -Fry 
+%
+"Oh my god, you knocked Fox off the air!" -TV worker guy 
+"Like anyone on earth cares." -Fry 
+%
+"This is an outrage! I demand to know what happened to the plucky lawyer and
+her compellingly short garments." -alien 
+%
+"Fry, you're wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You need to get
+out and see the real world." -Leela 
+"But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world." -Fry 
+"Everyone's too polite to say anything, but you're covered with bed sores."
+	-Leela 
+"Not covered." -Fry 
+%
+"This is the kind of castle King Arthur would have lived in... if he were a
+fiddler crab." -Fry 
+%
+"I refuse to fight! I'm a concientious objector." -Bender 
+"A what?" -Fry 
+"You know, a coward." -Bender 
+%
+"This is turning into one very sexy struggle for the human race."
+ -Zapp Brannigan 
+%
+"I'm gonna be a science fiction hero, just like Uhura, or Captain Janeway,
+or Xena!" -Fry 
+"Fry, this isn't TV, it's real life. Can't you tell the difference?" -Leela 
+"Sure, I just like TV better." -Fry 
+%
+"It was just a matter of knowing the secret of all TV shows: at the end of
+the episode, everything's always right back to normal." -Fry
+%
+Fry: "Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a
+university on Mars."
+Prof. Farnsworth: "Well in those days Mars was just a dreary uninhabitable 
+wasteland... much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made livable,
+when the university was founded in 2636."
+Leela: "They planted traditional college foliage: ivy, trees, hemp...."
+%
+Fatbot: "I heard that in one single night you drank a whole keg, streaked across
+campus, and crammed fifty-eight humans into a phone booth."
+Bender: "Yeah, well, a lot of 'em were children...."
+%
+"Don't take this the wrong way, Fry, but you don't seem like the educated
+type." -Leela 
+%
+Fry: "Hey, professor, what are you teaching this semester?"
+Prof. Farnsworth: "Same thing I teach every semester, the mathematics of 
+quantum nutrino fields. I made up the title so that no student would 
+dare take it."
+Fry: "Mathematics of wonton burrito meals...." 
+Prof. Farnsworth: "Please, Fry, I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor."
+%
+"From this day forth, Robot House is on dodecatuple secret probation." -Dean
+Vernon 
+%
+"He's an animal. He belongs in the wild. Or in the circus on one of those
+tiny tricycles. Now that's entertainment." -Fry
+%
+"Take it off or else I break it off." -Leela, with Fry's arm around her
+%
+ "Leela, perhaps this is an awkward time, but if things don't work out with
+this pipsqueak here, I just want you to know I'll be there to score you on
+the rebound." -Zapp 
+%
+"In case you were wondering, that was just for Zapp." 
+	-Leela, after kissing Fry
+%
+Fry: "Do you have anything else for him?"
+Contess de la Roca: "Lovely, isn't it?" 
+Bender: "Yeah, but only 93% as lovely as you."
+Contess de la Roca: "Oh, Bender. Either that was a computing error, or 
+you're the most romantic robot I've ever met." 
+%
+"I'm a fraud - a poor, lazy, sexy fraud." -Bender 
+%
+"Bender, I don't care whether you have money. I love you for your artificial
+intelligence and your sincerity simulator."
+ -Countess de la Roca
+%
+"As a gentleman, I must warn you, if you so much as glance at another woman,
+I'll be over Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure." -Zapp
+%
+"I learned how to handle delicate social situations from a little show
+called 'Three's Company.'" -Fry 
+%
+Leela: "Oh my God, we're heading straight into a black hole!" 
+Fry: "Talk about a mood killer." 
+%
+"Wait a second, aren't you a member of the yacht club?" -Bender 
+"My God, you're right. I'm a class 3 yacht." -Countess de la Roca 
+%
+"Look, it's our nebula. Whenever I see it I'll think back to when we
+almost..." (nebula gets sucked into the black hole) 
+"Oop. Nevermind." -Fry
+%
+Amy: "Bender, your beer belly's so big your door won't even close. And that
+ doesn't even make sense." 
+%
+Fry: "Maybe he has a parasite." 
+Hermes: "Maybe he is a parasite." 
+%
+Bender to Zoidberg: "You're looking less nuts, crabby." 
+%
+Leela: "It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast." 
+Zoidberg: "Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female
+ swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material." 
+Fry: "You and me both, brother." 
+%
+Fry: "Make up some feelings and tell her you have them. Yes?" 
+Zoidberg: "Is the desire to mate a feeling?" 
+%
+Edna: "Excuse me, I've got to powder my mouth flaps." 
+%
+Edna: "Teach me to love you, squishy poet from beyond the stars." 
+Fry: "I'm flattered, really. If I was gonna do it with a big freaky mud bug,
+ you'd be way up the list."
+%
+Bender: Fry, of all the friends I've had, you're the first.
+%
+Bender: I believe that qualifies as ill. At least from a technical 
+ standpoint.
+%
+(talking to the Beastie Boys) 
+Fry: Wow. I love you guys. Back in the 20th century, I had all five of
+ your albums.
+Ad-Rock: That was a thousand years ago. Now we got seven. 
+Fry: Cool. Can I borrow the new ones. And a couple of blank tapes?
+%
+Bender: Hey! What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one
+ hooker.
+%
+Leela: Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are 
+ you jacking on in there?
+%
+Professor Nerdstrom: Sit. I said sit! Bad fish!
+%
+Bender: OK, but I don't want anyone thinking we're robosexuals.
+%
+Bender: Oh no! Not the magnet!
+%
+Fry: What's with the eye?
+%
+Farnsworth: Oh my God!! 
+Fry: What is it? 
+Farnsworth: It's..It's...It's my new pager!
+%
+Leela: Now strip naked and get on the probulator.
+%
+Bender: Bite my shiny, metal ass!
+%
+Bender: Well I don't have anything else planned for today, let's get drunk!
+%
+Leela: Hold Still, I don't have good depth perception!
+%
+Farnsworth: Oh no! I should do something....but i am already in my pajamas.
+%
+Bender: He's gay. 
+Leela: How do you know? 
+Bender: I have this thing called gaydar.
+%
+Bender: Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! 
+ With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space 
+ lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!
+%
+Bender: A woman like that you gotta romance first!
+%
+Cops: I'm going to get 24th Century on his ass!
+%
+Human female: "Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?" 
+Morbo: "Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings were shocked today 
+ to learn that a ball of garbage will destroy their pathetic
+ city of New New York."
+Human female: "Makes me glad that we live here in Los Angeles."
+Morbo: "Morbo agrees." 
+%
+Human female: "All in all. This is one day that mitten the kitten will not 
+ soon forget."
+Morbo: "Kittens give Morbo gas. In later news the city of New New 
+ York is doomed. Blame rests with known human professor Hubert 
+ Farnsworth and his tiny inferior brain." 
+%
+Human female: "And so with two weeks left in the campaign, the question 
+ on everyone's mind is, who will be the president of Earth? 
+ Jack Johnson or bitter rival John Jackson. 
+ Two terrific candidates, Morbo?" 
+Morbo: "All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo." 
+Human female: "In other local news, disaster struck on Saturn's moon of Titan 
+ today, where titanium mine collapsed, trapping one thousand 
+ robot workers. Unless something is done quickly the trapped 
+ robots will be dead within 300 years. Sir, what rescue 
+ operations are planned?" 
+Mine spokesman: "The plan is basically to pave over the area and get on with 
+ our lives." 
+Morbo: "The news of mine's closing sent titanium prices sky 
+ rocketing." 
+%
+Morbo: "Morbo will now introduce tonights candidates. Puny human 
+ number one, puny human number two and Morbo's good friend 
+ Richard Nixon." 
+Nixon: "Hello Morbo. How's the family?" 
+Morbo: "Belligerent and numerous." 
+Nixon: "Good man, Nixon's pro-war and pro-family." 
+%
+Morbo: "Morbo demands an answer to the following question. If you saw 
+ a delicious candy in the hands of a small child. Would you 
+ seize and consume it?" 
+John Jackson: "Unthinkable."
+Jack Johnson: "I wouldn't think of it." 
+Morbo: "What about you Mr. Nixon? I remind you. You are under of a 
+ truth-o-scope."
+Nixon: "Question is vague. You don't say what kind of candy and 
+ whether anyone is watching. In anyway I certainly wouldn't
+ harm the child."
+%
+Human female: "The sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to 
+ it's highest level in centuries, six percent." 
+Morbo: "Exit poll show evil underdog Richard Nixon trailing with 
+ estimated zero votes." 
+Human female: "The time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening. And 
+ robot votes are now in. Nixon has won." 
+Morbo: "Morbo congratulates our gargantuan cyborg president. May death 
+ come quickly to his enemies." 
+%
+Human female: "The holiday season is time of celebration for most but it is 
+ also the time to remember the tragic suffering of the less 
+ fortunate." 
+Morbo: "Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering." 
+Human female: "Earlier today I visited the shelter for down-and-out robots. 
+ Homeless robots too poor to afford even the basic alcohol they 
+ need fuel their circuits. Is there anything sadder? 
+ Only drowning puppies and there have to be a lot of them."
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